FAQs for Doc Lucky’s Golden Mile®
Will the 2022 race be cancelled due to the Covid-19 pandemic? According to our crystal ball consultation The Golden Mile® is on 100% for 2022. In 2021 we ran the race successfully even in the shadow of Covid. We would expect even a smoother operation of the event this year. The race will be hosted on May 28th 2022. As everyone is aware, the covid 19 situation is in constant flux. At this point, we don’t believe it will have a significant impact on the race. There might be a few Covid 19 restrictions, but those will be decided in real-time not implemented in advance as we continuously monitor the situation. However, if you feel uncomfortable about Covid 19, rule number one is “do not plan to attend.” If you have serious concerns or questions involving Covid 19 management details for the race, please refer to rule number one.
Are the winners awarded real gold medals or is that “fake news”? Feel free to take them into your local pawn shop and have them tested, but each gold medal has twice as much gold as an Olympic gold (12 grams of clad gold) and 16 troy ounces of silver.
How much are the Gold and Silver medals worth? Obviously, for awards like these, the answer is priceless. Beyond the intangible value, there is an intrinsic value to the gold and silver in each medal as both gold and silver have 16 troy ounces of sterling silver and the gold is clad with twice as much gold as an Olympic gold medal. The actual cost to produce them, in case you want to go out and counterfeit one, is $1843 for the gold and $560 for the silver. If you can get them counterfeited for less, please let us know as we would like to use your counterfeiting services in the future. If you have been checking gold and silver prices they are worth a lot more than in 2019! I only wish we had bought bitcoins for awards.
What is the Virtual Golden Mile® Swim? Several swimmers want to support the Lake Cane Restoration Society, which is a 501c charitable organization that the proceeds of the race go to, but have other commitments on race day (in other words they want the great swag for doing the inaugural swim). So we are doing a virtual swim on Friday at 5 pm. You will be able to swim the course, but not have chip timing. You will not be eligible for awards, but you will get all the great swag for doing the swim. All you do is register and then email Lucky LuckyJ@msn.com and let him know you will be there on Friday and he will have your goody bag ready. Floatation, fins, snorkels are allowed in the virtual swim, but not in the regular race.
Why is there a gator on the logo with Doc Lucky? This race takes place in central Florida, in a lake, where gators like to live. We could have used a polar bear mascot, but that might be confusing.
What should I do if I get chased by a gator in the race? We honestly believe this is highly improbable but we have asked Doc Lucky what he would do, and he said, “We will have plenty of volunteers on paddle boards around the course. I would swim up to one and knock them off their board. These folks are generally slower swimmers than I am, and all their splashing and screaming would likely attract the gator away from me.”
There is a nine-foot stuffed gator that I see folks taking a picture with at Lucky’s Lake Swim. Was that gator taken from the lake? We asked Doc Lucky, who harvested the gator, where it came from and he only smiled and mimed like he was pushing a paddle boarder off their board and then laughed maniacally. I’m not sure this helps answer your question, but Lucky is sometimes challenging to work with.
I have a young child that I would like to leave on shore while I race, there will be someone that can watch her, right? Children are welcome with adult supervision. Unsupervised kids will be sold on eBay for an extremely low buy it now price. If the child does not sell, we will send him/her home with a puppy, kitten, and duckling. These animals will not have had any shots, and all will have dysentery.
We heard that Rowdy Gaines will be the celebrity starter, is this true? Yes, but we don’t know why. We assume Lucky has some dirt on Rowdy, and his appearance is related to some form of underhanded blackmail.
Is there a Special Olympics Division? Yes. Guidelines for these participants can be found by clicking here.
Do I qualify to sign the wall of fame if I complete the swim? Although this is a slightly different course than the daily Lucky’s Lake Swim, this does qualify you to sign the wall, get the SWAG, and to have VIP access to the outside bathrooms.
Can I get a photo with Doc Lucky? Sure, but he will not pay you to take a photo with him as he has done in the past. Additionally, he is very sensitive about the shape of his uvula. Please do not take photos of him with his mouth wide open.
What if there is inclement weather? Rain, Wind, Cold Water oh my! You’re not in Kansas anymore Dorothy. This is open water swimming! The race will go on unless there is lightning or weather so bad it is dangerous to volunteers. Open water swimmers already have a very warped sense of safety so we can’t base the decision to close the race based on what they consider swimmable. Lucky has swum during a hurricane so he will have no say in the cancellation decision. Sorry, no refunds if there is a race cancellation.
How many buoys will be used to mark the course? Seventeen to be exact and all are large and very visible, but unfortunately even this will not keep the directionally challenged Doc Lucky on course. A basic guideline to follow is: if you find yourself swimming in the same direction as Lucky you are off course. The turn and finish buoys are pyramid shape and the course buoys are red and orange round buoys. Special thanks to Joe Mattern for providing the buoys.
Can I swim the race with a Safer Swimmer Buoy? Yes, but you may not hang on it to float around the course. If we see you hanging, we assume you are in trouble and pull you from the race. Even if you try to escape us to continue swimming, you will fail, as we have a harpoon. We are only looking out for your safety.
Can I swim the race with mask, snorkel, and fins? No. You are confusing us with the local underwater hockey team which practices Mondays and Wednesdays at 7:00 pm at the Rosen Aquatic Center. Yes, this is a real sport with National and World Championships. You can swim in the virtual swim with aids.
I feel more comfortable when I use a pull buoy or when I am in a wet suit can I use these during the race? Well, I feel more comfortable doing the race course in a pontoon boat, so the answer is no. So check out the virtual swim.
Can I wear an full length open water swimming suit? Yes, as long as it is a FINA approved suit. Birthday suits are also allowed but require special permissions.
I am a male, but I identify as a female may I swim in the female division? You can swim any division you identify with, but to be eligible for awards here are the genetic breakdowns. Female awards XX, XXX, XXXX, Male awards XY, XXY, XXXY, XYY XYYY. Your choice if you are XO.
Can I use a nose clip when swimming? Sure, but you will miss the smell of the magnificent breakfast that will be cooking and waiting for you at the end of the race. Some people use the drifting aroma to guide them home; you will have to use the large red swim buoys.
Is there any danger of an airwar attack during the swim? Oh, you sly dog for giving a shout out to Lucky’s book. For those that don’t get the reference “airwars” are creatures in Doc Lucky’s award-winning novel “The Immune.” Good try, but you still have to pay the full registration fee, no matter how much you kiss up to Lucky.
I see all the proceeds go to the Lake Cane Restoration Society charity what does that charity do? Contrary to the urban myth that it is a vacation fund for the executive director Jay Madigan (he is a volunteer), the organization seeks to promote best practices in restoring Lake Cane as a natural resource for current and future generations through science, education, and charity. Lake Cane is the lake the swim is being hosted in, and I know this is somewhat confusing as some swimmers call it Lucky’s Lake.
So what exactly is the name of this race? I see Doc Lucky’s Golden Mile®, The Golden Mile®, Lucky’s Lake Swim Golden Mile® all listed? The answer to this question is yes, and in German, it would be Ja.
Will there be drug testing? No, but for the top finishers, we will give them a brief calculus exam in the medical tent following their swim.
Will I be taxed if I win the gold medal?. We don’t think so, but to be safe, please consult with your local tax advisor. If Congress does pass a wealth tax, and you qualify, it may cost you about $40 a year to keep your gold medal.
What if there is a photo finish will Lucky decide who it the winner? Absolutely not! Lucky is well known to be susceptible to bribery and flattering compliments, so the race director will have the final decision.